She is in my trunk
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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