Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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