if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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