he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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