weddingsv make me drug and hornr
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.