3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊