Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
You took a bar mat shot.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"