Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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