The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
