Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Randomize
