Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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