so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
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Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
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Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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