I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I intend to get homeless drunk
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
