yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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