i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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