I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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