The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
