yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Randomize
