I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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