I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
