That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
