Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
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