Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Two words: blizzard sex
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
