GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
