are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
