my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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