The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
