whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
You're breaking my sexual little heart
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
