I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
never play flip cup with pint glasses
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
