And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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