I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
