I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
