I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
