oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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