I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
