I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
