You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
