Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
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