You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Randomize
