you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
