She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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