Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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