rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Randomize
