Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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