I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
