Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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