Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
