I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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