Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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