the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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