Have you finally orgasmed yet?
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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