i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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