I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
