she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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