I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
