I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
