Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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