Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
