yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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