Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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