She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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