I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
