Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
