no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Of course I have a pirate flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Randomize