More tranny stories later!
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
