hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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