I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I need to calm my uterus...
my liver is dry heaving
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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